Message boards have a distinct protocol. To make the experience the
most pleasant and useful for you that it can be, and to avoid becoming
human shish kebab, it's important to observe good forum manners.Lurk
Before You Leap. While many a discouraging word has been written about
lurkers, or people who frequent message boards but don't post on them,
spending some time lurking before making your first post is actually a
good idea. Familiarizing yourself with topics that have been discussed
repeatedly will help you avoid looking like someone who didn't do your
homework. Familiarizing yourself with the individuals who post
frequently on the board will help you to avoid leaping to the wrong
conclusion about someone who may be a very nice person but might just
be having a bad day.Post an Introduction. What's the first thing you
do when you meet someone at a party? You introduce yourself and engage
in small talk: what you do for a living, where you live, how long
you've lived there. What's the first thing most people do on a board?
Post a question and expect everyone to give them custom-tailored
answers when the board members have no idea of your background or what
research you've done. That's no way to make friends.Don't Hijack
Threads! It's bad forum manners to piggyback your own question into
someone else's post or to change the subject. This is called hijacking
a thread. If you're capable of posting a reply to a thread, you're
certainly capable of starting a new thread with your question. You
also stand a much better chance of getting a response to your question
on gardening if it isn't buried in someone else's thread on
shopping.Post in the Proper Forum. Most message boards have one or
more subforums with a clear indication of the subject matter for each.
Many, many newbies will post everything to the general forum or
whichever forum gets the most traffic. Their excuse is often on the
order of, this forum has the most traffic and I wanted to make sure it
was seen. Well, that excuse doesn't hold water. Forum software usually
highlights each subforum where there are new threads, so it will be
seen. Continuing to post everything in the wrong place will not win
you a place in the heart of the administrator or mod, who will have to
move it to where it belongs. I've also seen people heckled by other
forum members when they continue to post messages in the wrong
place.Be Specific. People can't answer a question that's too broad. If
you're looking for a reasonably priced house or apartment in a good
neighborhood, there at least three things wrong with that phrase. (1)
Reasonably priced means something quite different to someone who has
unlimited resources than to someone who is retiring on a shoestring.
Did you mention which of those two categories you fall into? You're
more likely to avoid a testy, sarcastic or scathing response if you
give a range of rental prices that you can afford. (2) One bedroom?
Two bedrooms? Three bedrooms? (3) Have you ever seen someone ask about
renting a place in a bad neighborhood? On the other hand, if you state
I'm a single woman, or we're a family with three children under the
age of 10, then most people will recommend appropriate neighborhoods
with those facts in mind. Also, many questions have been asked many
times before, so if you're not specific, people lose patience and will
tend to jump on you. They won't care if you're new to the board or
not.Cost-of-living questions often generate high levels of
exasperation. Did you tell everyone about your lifestyle? Do you
require Evian or Perrier drinking water? Do you expect to have a pool,
which uses more electricity? Do you have lots of appliances? Do you
buy a lot of alcohol? Must you buy American-style food in
American-style supermercados? Or are you intending to live a more
Mexican, more minimalist lifestyle? If you specify which
cost-of-living items you want to know, like what is the cost of
electricity per hour, what do x, y and z fruits and vegetables cost at
the market, what does internet connectivity cost, people will put
their spear guns away.Have a Thick Skin. It's obvious but bears
repeating: most people who post on message boards are not professional
communicators. Most people who reply to your posts are genuinely
trying to help you, although they may be clumsy in the way they phrase
things. Yes, there will be jerks that are condescending and insulting
on a regular basis, but if you've read through the past posts it
should be clear who these people are. Don't be quick to be offended if
you don't like what's being said. Make liberal use of private
messaging and speak to someone privately and calmly if you were hurt
by something that was said. Often it was completely unintentional.
Also, look hard at your own message before you go calling the kettle
black.Be Twice as Nice as You Usually Are. Because of how easily the
written word can be misinterpreted, be extremely nice and humble in
your communications. You know that you're a nice person, but the board
members don't know you yet. Try not to post when you're really
annoyed.Don't Exhaust People's Patience. People who ask too many
questions can come across as being helpless or too lazy to do their
own research. I've seen boards turn on posters who pepper the boards
with too many questions or say things like I don't know where to
start, or tell me all about. The board helps those who help
themselves, to paraphrase a well-known saying.There's a gold mine of
information out there among the expat community message boards, and
they're willing to share. By following these guidelines, you'll have a
better chance of having a pleasant, fun and educational internet forum
experience. You might even forge some friendships in the process,
which will make your eventual move to a foreign land all the more
rewarding.
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